er blame her, or feel guilty. Because she has a piece of my heart. And gods got her now. Soul mate? Yes. Tobey? Thank you. You have no idea today how I feel. Gratefull to have had such a friend. I forgive not her which I figure is the issue. I forgive myself. Phantom of the operah is playing right now. I got chills as I forgave myself again. Book ordinary people says “if you can’t feel pain, you won’t feel anything else.” like: true happiness, love and even sad.” Ive felt so much pain and even recently that no wonder why I am who I am, with so much love and happiness inside me. If only I could say I do it on purpose to become “a better loving and happy man.” but that be a lie. I don’t change no matter what today happens to me. Now who can I channel gods strength threw me to someone else? Just like Tobey did for me.